I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
