I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
