I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
