i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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