i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
