ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize