She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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