Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
