I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
