I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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