3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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