just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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