Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
you never un-have a 4some
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
