life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
