He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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