sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
