Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
