If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think your dad took our porno
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
