marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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