i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
