I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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