one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
dude. I can hear the air.
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