i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
