I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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