Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
