Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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