is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
