I'm really into asian looking animals
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
