I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
