Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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