Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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