I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Damn victory sex feels great
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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