the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize