I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize