If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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