There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
