He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
