playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
