Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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