i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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