marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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