I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Drake has all the answers
Text me some of your sweat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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