At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
