I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
