god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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