Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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