I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My penis needs a shock collar
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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