You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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