After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
