counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
