I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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