The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
