I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Four minutes until I can fart!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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