I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
