Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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