I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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