i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
