4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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