my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
