She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
